Have you ever unexpectedly come across an old box full of forgotten treasures? Maybe it was hidden in the attic. Perhaps it was buried in the back of a closet, or even safely nestled in another container. Do you remember the feeling you had when you opened it?
A touch of sadness?
That’s how I felt yesterday when I stumbled upon my own blog. This blog.
You (assuming anyone is still out there reading this) are probably thinking “B, that makes no sense whatsoever. It’s not like you lost your blog or misplaced it.”
True, but bear with me a second. Here is why it makes perfect sense:
- At some point, somewhere between November of 2014 (my last post prior to this) and yesterday, I just stopped thinking about this blog and the fact that it existed.
- Yes, I was still receiving (and paying!) my annual hosting renewal notices. But it was automatic. Like that tanning salon renewal that has been on auto-pay for a decade and I keep forgetting to cancel.
- I just didn’t care. So I forgot it was still out here in cyberspace. Collecting dust.
So why now?
Because right now the world is kind of scary. Right now our new normal is COVID-19. Quarantine. Shelter in place. Pandemic. Outbreak. Flatten the curve. Social distancing. Work from home. Essential businesses/staff. Economy. Global recession. Cases. Deaths. GLOBAL.
Over 378,000 cases and 16,000+ deaths to date.
This is a global pandemic. And it’s scary. It’s scary because it’s unknown.
In a world that is full of so many uncertainties and unknowns right now, I at least am gravitating towards things that give me a sense of normalcy.
Things that offer a sense of connection.
Using the phone to talk, not just text! Writing letters. Online hangouts. Facetime. Reconnecting with old friends.
Distractions like movies. Books. DIY projects. Spring cleaning. Enjoying the outdoors as much as possible (while maintaining appropriate social distance!). Organizing. Cleaning out my email inbox(es).
Emails. That was how it happened.
I was clearing out emails when I stumbled upon an upcoming hosting renewal reminder.
“beautifullyinvisible.com” it said.
“Hmmm,” I thought. “I wonder if the site is even still up?” I would check on fulltimeford.com every so often, but this blog – nope. So I honestly didn’t know.
And guess what? The site was broken. HA!
One of my plugins had broken, so all a visitor would see was an error.
Suddenly this became an adventure.
- I had to remember my login information – both for wordpress and for my hosting site. Thank god for password resets.
- I logged into hosting and had to remember how to deactivate a plugin. 45 minutes later – success!
- I logged into wordpress and the first thing I saw was “Akismet has protected your site from 3,418,417 spam comments already. There’s 685 comments in your spam queue right now.”
- 3,418,417 spam comments?!?! Yikes.
- The next thing I saw – EVERYTHING needed to be updated. Plugins. Themes.
- Why were some of my favorite plugin’s broken or no longer available? Noooooooo.
- What? I have comments to approve? People are still reading this site? (Although few and far between).
- Wait, what’s a widget?
- How do I update this setting?
- What, what the heck is a Thesis? (OK, I wasn’t that bad, but you get the point. I felt like I was a complete newbie who had never touched a wordpress site in her life).
And before I knew it – I was sucked in again. At least on the back-end. It became a challenge. I love a good challenge.
But then I took some time to re-read a few old posts. Not “look at this product” or “currently coveting” or “look what I want to buy” posts.
I could care less about those.
I re-read articles about the fashion industry. History. Commentary. I re-read the series of posts about plagiarism, and the article where I shared how I never fully recovered my voice after that incident.
I still think I haven’t quite found it yet.
But more than anything – it was like finding an old box full of forgotten treasures.
A box full of memories.
A box full of joy.
A box full of inspiration.
A box full of nostalgia, with a touch of sadness.
A box full of friends now lost.
And today I find myself here. Writing a new post (and learning what the heck a “block” is in wordpress).
I don’t know if I am going to keep on blogging. I don’t really know what I have to say, if anything. Especially with the world the way it is right now.
But writing this feels good.
It feels damn good.
I missed it.
And I missed you.
I hope all of you, your families, and your friends are staying healthy and safe right now.
I’d love to hear how you are coping with our new normal?